Basically, I am now a wonderfully married woman! And no, praise the Lord, I did NOT meet him on Christian Mingle. Yay! The Lord definitely wrote our story, which I'm going to tell you: :)
I met him before I wrote my last blog, but I had no idea that I had feelings for him. His name is Will and we were friends while I was on Christian Mingle. In fact, I would talk with him about all the guys I spoke to online! He is such a God send.
He and my sister were friends first. He was doing an internship at the house of prayer in Traverse City in the Fall of 2013 and my sister was the leader for the Interns, so she got to know him and even talked to me about him a bit. She never thought anything of us getting married because he is 6 years younger than me, but she did think that if we ever met that we would get along well because we have a similar sense of humor. I never even considered there being a chance of us meeting though, and, in fact, I teased my sister about having a crush on him because she mentioned him quite a bit. (Note: she did NOT have a crush on him, but admired him as a good young man, since he treated her quite well.)
Obviously, the chance to meet did in fact happen in December 2013 at a huge conference that the International House of Prayer holds every year (the One Thing Conference.) My sister road with Will to come down here for the conference, and Will was returning to go back to the International House of Prayer University in the spring for his last semester. Carolyn was trying to be so helpful to me; I was so thirsty for male friendships at the time (as you may recall in my previous post) and she knew Will and I would get along. And, of course, because of the age difference neither of us thought that my heart would at all be in danger of getting a crush on him.
So, during the conference, my sister ran into Will and made him wait until I could come over to meet him. My first impression of him was that he was taller than I expected and "nerdy cute;" and, after speaking with him, I thought he was really funny. But, apparently, Will was interested in me right away. When I walked up (having expected me to look like my sister who is short and a brunette) he thought, "Wow, she's tall. And blonde! And she's beautiful!" I was completely unaware of the affect I had on him, of course, and when we were talking I impressed him even more with my wit and teasing. He stumbled over his words talking to me (because my amazing beauty made him nervous, lol) and I totally made fun of him for it, yet he LOVED it! This cracks me up, he's a funny guy and enjoys being teased- to an extent. He liked me right then and there, and I wanted to be friends with him right away.
We ended up exchanging numbers before the conference was over so that we could hang out some time. I genuinely wanted to just be friends and thought of him as a "little brother", but he, genuinely, was interested in me as more than friends. Of course, I had no clue of that!
The next week, I texted him first (like I said, I thought of him as just a friend) and I joked about coming up with a secret handshake since we were now going to be "best" friends. He loved it. (Perfect match, right?) Then a week or so later I invited him over to watch a movie with me and my roommate. We ended up talking more than watching the movie, and since I was on Christian Mingle at the time, I shared with him some of the guys I was talking to. He proceeded to check out the different profiles and read them to me in a funny accent making fun of every man on there! His purpose, of course, was to make me disinterested in them all, because in his mind, "none of them were good enough for me."
The first two times we hung out, I made it clear that I had no interest in him other than a friend. As he puts it, he got "friend zoned." LOL. So, because of that, he put his feelings for me out of his mind (as men have the uncanny ability to do) but he did not quit hanging out with me and he even did pursuing type things- like, bringing pizza over, buying my kitten toys, bringing me Reeses after hearing that it was my favorite candy, taking me grocery shopping etc. My roommates wondered if he liked me, and once in a while I wondered too, but I insisted that he just saw me as a big sister and was comfortable with me. We hung out incessantly for several weeks and all the while I was going on dates with guys from Christian Mingle.
Pretty soon however, I found myself comparing the men I when out with to Will and he became, in my mind, the epitome of what all men should be. Of course, at that time, I didn't realize what that was saying about my feelings for him. On one particular date though I finally realized what was going on in my heart. I went out with a guy that I was actually excited about, where as thus far I hadn't really cared for any of the other guys I had gone out with, but this guy was really witty and impressed me in different ways.
We went out to eat and ended up chatting for hours!! So, you would think that it was really great, right? But the whole time, there just seemed like something was missing, and I couldn't stop thinking about Will. I kept comparing this guy to Will and wishing I was hanging out with Will. I thought, "Why in the world am I thinking about Will while on a date?!" I had to figure out what was going on. I spoke with a good friend of mine about it and said, "I'm beginning to think that I may have feelings for Will." She said, "You think?!" Haha.
For the next week, I prayed and sought the Lord about what was going on in my heart. The guy that I had gone out with wanted to go out again, but my interest in him was waning. I realized that I would not be able to stay on Christian Mingle and go out with all these different guys if I had feelings for a good friend of mine. So, I decided to go out with this guy one last time to see if what seemed to be missing the first date appeared in the second date. Maybe I would be even more interested in him and my feelings for Will would cease? But, if I still kept comparing him to Will, then I decided to speak with Will about my feelings right away. I know how I am, and if I tell a guy about my feelings and they don't reciprocate, I move on pretty quickly because it closes the door instead of letting there be that "what if?"
The date did not go that well. He actually told me he was taking me on the same exact date that he took a different girl he met on Christian Mingle AND that he wanted to see how I compared to her! Goodness! I mean, I may have been comparing him to Will, but at least I didn't TELL him that! lol. The thing that was missing (which I believe was a spiritual connection- or disconnection) still wasn't there and right after the date I called Will and asked him if he'd be able to hang out.
Will was the guy I spoke to about all of these guys I was talking to or meeting up with, and so I told him that I had just had a date and wanted to chat about. We ended up going to a coffee shop (side note: aside from grocery shopping once, we generally did not hang out alone during our entire friendship) and I chatted away about the date and other random things. I was so nervous about discussing my feelings with him because my past experiences in this were so negative and I didn't want to lose my friendship with Will! I was totally okay with just being friends, I just needed to know from him that he wasn't interested in anything else.
I finally came around to the real reason I wanted to chat with him and I said, "Sooooo, I have a confession to make; I actually learned something new about myself on that first date with ______." He asked what I learned, in a teasing manner and I, being serious, said, "Well, the entire time we were on the date, I kept comparing him to you..." I paused, then said, "Apparently, I have a crush on you..." And then, since I had made a big deal about our age difference since the beginning, I added, "Yep, this 29 year old has a crush on you!"
All he said was, "I'm flattered." Which cracks me up when I think about it. I said, jokingly, "You SHOULD be flattered! I'm awesome!" But he responded with, "You ARE awesome." Quite seriously, I might add, because, even though he had pushed his feelings away, he truly did like me and thought I was awesome.
Then I said, "Well, I kind of figured that you just saw me as a big sister and so have been just comfortable with me because of that." He said, "Pretty much, but let me think about it." And I told him that he better not take too long thinking about it, because I might be taken in a few months. LOL! Then we chatted about other subjects as though nothing had occurred. It was the coolest thing ever, he did not want to quit being friends with me because of it and he didn't act awkward at all!! Ok, I have to be honest, I liked him even more because of this. :)
The next couple days were snow days and so I was off work and he was off school, and, of course, we ended up hanging out. One night he came and hung out with me and my roommates, the next I hung out with him and his roommates. After the second day, when he was dropping me off at my house, before I could get out of the car he said, "Hey, so, I think you're really cool, and I really enjoy hanging out with you, and I'm starting to see myself being able to date you, but I'm still thinking about it. Just wanted you to know that." Haha! Oh, what men do to women's hearts without even meaning to! I told him he better not take much longer cause I wasn't gonna wait around. I didn't want my heart getting played with, you know?
Oh, the agony of those next few days!! I decided I wasn't going to text him, but I figured he would text me and he DIDN'T! It was so difficult to not pick up my phone to contact him, but I kept myself from doing it. How frustrating it was to be told that he might like me back and then not call or text me! haha! In Will's defense though, he truly did not want to play with my heart and had purposed in his heart to not date me (or anyone for that matter) without seeing himself being able to marry that person, and he needed time to think and pray. I understand and appreciate it, but still, it was agonizing! Lol.
A few days later, he texted me while I was at work and asked if he could pick me up from work and get coffee. At first, my mind ran away with fears of him telling me that he never wanted to see me again or something, but as soon as I saw his face when he picked me up, I knew that could not be the case. He purchased my coffee for me and we sat down; it was slightly awkward but not too bad, I could tell that he was nervous. Before even making any idle conversation at all, Will looked at me, smiled and said, "So, I think you're awesome." He grinned shyly again, and added, "So, you wanna... maybe... get to know each other... and go out on dates and stuff?" It was so so cute!! Something I forgot to mention was that Will never dated anybody before me. I'm his first everything; which of course makes me feel very honored. :)
I reminded him subtly that I was on Christian Mingle and that if he and I were not exclusive I would be going out with other guys. And he asked if I could check on there that I was "in a relationship" or something, just like on Facebook. I laughed, "No, it's a DATING website! But I can write that I'm pursuing a relationship at the moment." Not knowing where this was going, I didn't want to get off Christian Mingle just yet; of course, that did not last long and within a month of us dating I got off of Christian Mingle for good.
So, that's the beginning of our story. In the next few or so posts I will probably write a bit about our adventures in dating and engagement and things I learned. Now, I am already onto the adventure in marriage!
I waited until I was 30 to get married and it was totally worth it. Just THINKING about him gives me butterflies, causes my heart to jump and makes me smile! I absolutely HATE being away from him, I am ALWAYS excited to see him and, honestly, if I could spend the rest of my life holed up in a cottage in the woods with him, I would!! lol.
The Lord truly answers prayer!! I've seen it in many things in my life, but this is the first time, of course, that I had seen it in reference to my future husband prayers. I remember a few things that I asked the Lord for that I had forgotten about until it happened. I told the Lord once that I would really love it and it would be so amazing if the man I were to marry thought I was so beautiful the first time he saw me that he stumbled over his words because he was so nervous! That happened!
I asked the Lord, many times, to be friends with the man I was to marry first and not realize that I had feelings for him and basically fall in love with him via friendship. I had given up on that dream since I didn't seem to ever have any guy friends, but then it happened! He's my best friend, and I am his!
A man who loves Jesus above all else has always been important to me, along with one who is humble and makes me laugh and laughs at my jokes. All of that is true with us! Will is one of the funniest men I know AND he is SO humble, and, of course, loves the Lord. I've said it before, I'll say it again: the Lord is so good!
Hope you enjoyed that story. Now, here are some photos!
Pics from our Wedding:
Be blessed and consider every day an adventure with the Lord! Until next time. :)
