I was reading in Mark and came across a story I've read many times and know so well, but this time it took on new meaning and I thought I'd share it.
"Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, 'Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?' Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, 'Peace, be still!' And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, 'Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?'" Mark 4:36-40.
Now, as I was reading this, I was imagining being in an awful tempest where the wind is so loud that it's impossible to hear and the waves are coming on board so much that the boat is sinking and my first thought was, "Why wouldn't they be afraid?" There Jesus is peacefully sleeping in the midst of some torrential downpour that is about to kill them, and they're probably unable to even walk straight on the boat with it rocking two and fro and they have no idea that He is able to tell it to stop; why wouldn't they be afraid?
They were afraid because they did not trust Him yet and they did not know the extent of the faith they should have in Him. All they knew was what they were seeing with their eyes- they saw Jesus sleeping (which made them believe that He did not care) and they saw the storm. They didn't know that waking up Jesus was all it took for the tempest to dissipate and that OF COURSE He cares and that they would be fine.
Have you ever felt that your life is in a storm and you're about to be thrown overboard? And Jesus is being silent through it all, maybe even sleeping through the storm you're going through?
I have gone through my share of storms and am going through one as I type this. The unkown is so scary and if I feel that He is being silent, it makes it 100X worse! Sometimes He is silent and I believe He does that at times to test us and increase our faith. His response to us in our fear is, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"
Just because it seems that He is sleeping or not responding does not mean He does not care. Even in this story, He may have been physically sleeping, but I sure believe He knew exactly what was going on! He is God, knows all and sees all. He knows our lying down and our waking up. He loves us and desires to care for us, if we would only not let fear take hold and give Him the reigns.
During the tough times, I cannot let myself be full of fear, or let myself believe that He doesn't care or that He's not listening. That would be letting myself believe in lies. I desire to have that kind faith that causes me to never fear. I will let Him speak "Peace, be still" to the storm in my soul and cast all my cares onto Him because I know He loves me! His plans for my life are better than any I could ever come up with myself, and He does have a plan. A very good one. I just have to continually hand over the pen so that He will continue to write it!
My response in the storm, instead of crying in fear and asking Him if He even cares will be, "Lord, I know You care! Take care of me, lead me and send me peace! End this storm because I have faith in You! Lord, I believe but help my unbelief!"
I desire to see miracles happen because I have faith for them, and not lack seeing miracles because I lack faith.
I encourage you to not let the storms give you fear. To use those times to seek Him even more if need be; and if you don't hear a response right away continue to seek Him. Read His word and let it wash over you.
And remember that "... nothing is impossible with God." Matt. 19:26. He can even tell a storm to be still and you WILL come out of the storm!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Ruby!!!
My sister and I got to go see my niece last weekend!! She is so adorable in every way and my sister-in-law and brother are very good parents. I was so glad we got to see them. Not only because I miss my brother and sis but also because if we hadn't gone that weekend I probably wouldn't have been able to meet my niece for who knows how long.
Here are photos:
Here are photos:
Seeing my brother LOOK like a dad with a diaper bag and carrying the baby was so different!
This is my favorite family pic.
My brother is a good father.
Kissing the baby.
Passing the baby, very carefully. =)
I hope you enjoy those photos of my beautiful niece. :)
In other news... the end of the semester is coming up on me! I have one more week. This week is all finals. I'm not really worried about any final except my guitar final. And worried is too strong of a word. It's only that the song we have to play has a couple chords in it that I'm VERY bad at playing and my fingers just seem to not want to do it. But I'm sure I'll be fine, or at least I hope.
Since it's coming up on the end of the semester my team took photos together again, of course:
We did a serious one and then a funny one, of course. lol. I love this team and am going to miss them over the summer. One of my worship leaders (the one in yellow) is getting married in August and won't be coming back to school! But thankfully, she'll be my neighbor so hopefully that means I still get to see her. =)
My plans for the summer are to get a summer job and to have scheduled prayer room hours. The prayer room is my JOB JOB (for anyone who thinks that that's not a job, I challenge them to come spend 4-6 hours a day of focused prayer room time here for a week and THEN tell me that it's not a job! LOL) and then the other thing will be my side job. I still owe the school for this semester so I'm praying that the Lord brings that money in this week because otherwise I'll have to pay it off over the summer and that would mean I wouldn't be able to save for next semester.
So, Happy Summer everyone!!! Many blessings to you all. =)
Lesson Learned
I have a quick story to tell... it is funny but, well, convicting. I hope it has a similar impact on you...
This semester, my theology classes are divided up in quarters so last quarter I had a class on doctrine. It was called Basic Christian Beliefs and it went through the doctrine that every Christian should believe. (We read the book Doctrine: What Christians Should Believe by Mark Driscoll and I highly recommend it.) It was a pretty good class and a good book.
We had a paper due at the end of the class, it was a research paper and we had to have footnotes and a resource page etc. I began working on it 2 weeks before it was due and went over it and over it (almost OCDish) and saved it over and over to make sure it was always up to date. I ended up with 5 pages and I even had my roommate edit it as well. The last thing I did was save the cover page and resource page to the paper so that it was all saved on one document. Then, after I emailed it, I checked the email to make sure I sent the right thing.
The reason I did all this and was so OCD about it was because at the beginning of the semester, my teacher said, "I rarely give out As,"and I was going to challenge that. I wrote a GOOD paper. The whole time I was writing it, I kept saying, "Well, if HE doesn't give me an A, I know the Lord does!" But I really wanted my teacher to give me an A.
Guess what I made?....
A 78. Yep... A C+!!!!
Guess what I did when I saw that? I cried. Yeah...
Now to go back a little I want to explain something. Growing up, grades were always very important to me. You see, my brother and sister could make As with barely trying, but I had to work really hard for my As. A B made me think I failed. Why I felt this way, I'm not going to get into but I felt that way all the way through college.
I remember when I took Accounting I made a C ( I think I only made two Cs back at A&M) and I had never worked so hard for a C in my life! That was a really hard class for some reason. Anyway, compared to the accounting class, this Doctrine class should be easy, right? And yet, I made a C on the paper. (Thankfully, there were other grades so I ended up with a B in the class, but the paper was the biggest portion of our grade.)
Since I always had this thing about striving and making As etc, the Lord has been teaching me that His approval is what's important and to do my best and do it for His glory and that may not be As. So, He told me not to worry about my grades in this school. And yet... here I was working really really hard for an A on this paper. Now, I'm not saying I shouldn't have worked so hard, but it was the motive behind it that mattered.
So, the next week I went in to look at the paper to see why I made such a bad grade. I kept thinking, "If he was really going by all the things he said he would be grading on I SHOULD NOT have made a C!"
When I saw my paper I almost had a conniption... they only had 2 pages of my paper. No cover page. No resource page. No conclusion paragraph even. I mean, it ended with a quote! I couldn't believe it. How did that happen?
I knew that I had checked and rechecked to make sure I saved the paper and emailed the right one, so how did they only receive two pages of it?!
So, I went home to look on my computer and found that what they received was all that was on my computer. It wasn't even the same paper that my roommate had edited! My roommate had edited my finished document. So, how did that happen? Well, there were only two explanations that I could come up with:
1. A demon went and unsaved my paper.
2. Or, God did it.
And when I asked the Lord about it, He said, "Are you willing to receive MY approval over man's?"
Talk about a lesson!! I was so convicted and repented. Then He said, "If you made a C+ on your unfinished paper, what do you think you would've made with your full paper?"
I had been learning this lesson since coming here, but I guess the Lord had to do something a bit more dramatic to get my full attention on it! Something I say to myself every time I get up to sing or play with my team is: "Lord, this is about You, not me. It's not about whether or not people like my voice or my playing. It's about worshiping You and interceding for others. It's about coming to know You better and helping others to know You better too."
Apparently, I need to remember that for EVERY area and not just for leading worship.
LESSON LEARNED.
This semester, my theology classes are divided up in quarters so last quarter I had a class on doctrine. It was called Basic Christian Beliefs and it went through the doctrine that every Christian should believe. (We read the book Doctrine: What Christians Should Believe by Mark Driscoll and I highly recommend it.) It was a pretty good class and a good book.
We had a paper due at the end of the class, it was a research paper and we had to have footnotes and a resource page etc. I began working on it 2 weeks before it was due and went over it and over it (almost OCDish) and saved it over and over to make sure it was always up to date. I ended up with 5 pages and I even had my roommate edit it as well. The last thing I did was save the cover page and resource page to the paper so that it was all saved on one document. Then, after I emailed it, I checked the email to make sure I sent the right thing.
The reason I did all this and was so OCD about it was because at the beginning of the semester, my teacher said, "I rarely give out As,"and I was going to challenge that. I wrote a GOOD paper. The whole time I was writing it, I kept saying, "Well, if HE doesn't give me an A, I know the Lord does!" But I really wanted my teacher to give me an A.
Guess what I made?....
A 78. Yep... A C+!!!!
Guess what I did when I saw that? I cried. Yeah...
Now to go back a little I want to explain something. Growing up, grades were always very important to me. You see, my brother and sister could make As with barely trying, but I had to work really hard for my As. A B made me think I failed. Why I felt this way, I'm not going to get into but I felt that way all the way through college.
I remember when I took Accounting I made a C ( I think I only made two Cs back at A&M) and I had never worked so hard for a C in my life! That was a really hard class for some reason. Anyway, compared to the accounting class, this Doctrine class should be easy, right? And yet, I made a C on the paper. (Thankfully, there were other grades so I ended up with a B in the class, but the paper was the biggest portion of our grade.)
Since I always had this thing about striving and making As etc, the Lord has been teaching me that His approval is what's important and to do my best and do it for His glory and that may not be As. So, He told me not to worry about my grades in this school. And yet... here I was working really really hard for an A on this paper. Now, I'm not saying I shouldn't have worked so hard, but it was the motive behind it that mattered.
So, the next week I went in to look at the paper to see why I made such a bad grade. I kept thinking, "If he was really going by all the things he said he would be grading on I SHOULD NOT have made a C!"
When I saw my paper I almost had a conniption... they only had 2 pages of my paper. No cover page. No resource page. No conclusion paragraph even. I mean, it ended with a quote! I couldn't believe it. How did that happen?
I knew that I had checked and rechecked to make sure I saved the paper and emailed the right one, so how did they only receive two pages of it?!
So, I went home to look on my computer and found that what they received was all that was on my computer. It wasn't even the same paper that my roommate had edited! My roommate had edited my finished document. So, how did that happen? Well, there were only two explanations that I could come up with:
1. A demon went and unsaved my paper.
2. Or, God did it.
And when I asked the Lord about it, He said, "Are you willing to receive MY approval over man's?"
Talk about a lesson!! I was so convicted and repented. Then He said, "If you made a C+ on your unfinished paper, what do you think you would've made with your full paper?"
I had been learning this lesson since coming here, but I guess the Lord had to do something a bit more dramatic to get my full attention on it! Something I say to myself every time I get up to sing or play with my team is: "Lord, this is about You, not me. It's not about whether or not people like my voice or my playing. It's about worshiping You and interceding for others. It's about coming to know You better and helping others to know You better too."
Apparently, I need to remember that for EVERY area and not just for leading worship.
LESSON LEARNED.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Adventures of Becoming an Aunt
From the title, I'm guessing you already figured out what this blog is about. Yes, I'M an AUNT!!!!!! My little niece (Ruby Makayla) was born on April 5th at 7:22 in the morning after over 26 hours of labor. She is 9 lbs 3 oz and 21.5 inches long and has a lot of hair! Unfortunately I have only met her via pictures, but hopefully within a couple months my sister and I will be able to go down there and see our niece for the first time. I already crocheted her a baby blanket (wish I had taken a photo) and probably will be making other things. I'm so excited to be an Aunt!! I feel so blessed. She's beautiful. In the Bible, children are not only a commandment (Be fruitful and multiply Gen. 1:28) but also called a blessing. Praise the Lord for blessing our family with a child. =)
I declare that she is going to be a warrior of the Lord; a follower of Christ and one who leads others towards the Lord. She will be filled with the Holy Spirit and filled with a deep love of the Lord. And she will be a good big sister when her parents have more kids and an awesome eldest first cousin to her parent's sibling's children. She will be filled with light and truth and love and prefer others. She will live a holy lifestyle; desire the Lord above all else. May it be, in Jesus' name, amen. Please agree with me in prayer:
Lord, Thank you for blessing my brother and sister-in-law. And bless Ruby Makayla. Pour Your spirit upon her and fill her with Your love, joy and peace. Guide her into Your light that she would seek You her entire life. Keep her in Your hands, guide her, lead her and shine the light of Your face upon her, in Jesus' name, amen.
Here are the few photos I have:
I declare that she is going to be a warrior of the Lord; a follower of Christ and one who leads others towards the Lord. She will be filled with the Holy Spirit and filled with a deep love of the Lord. And she will be a good big sister when her parents have more kids and an awesome eldest first cousin to her parent's sibling's children. She will be filled with light and truth and love and prefer others. She will live a holy lifestyle; desire the Lord above all else. May it be, in Jesus' name, amen. Please agree with me in prayer:
Lord, Thank you for blessing my brother and sister-in-law. And bless Ruby Makayla. Pour Your spirit upon her and fill her with Your love, joy and peace. Guide her into Your light that she would seek You her entire life. Keep her in Your hands, guide her, lead her and shine the light of Your face upon her, in Jesus' name, amen.
Here are the few photos I have:
Soon after she was born.
Look at that head of hair!!!
Daddy and baby. She looks quite a bit like her daddy. =)
Grandma and baby.
So, I am very happy to be an Aunt for the first time ever and forevermore. This is quite exciting. I always thought I'd be married before I'd be an Aunt, but it's turning out to be the other way around. I have this extreme desire to spoil her. I wish I lived near them or them near me so that I could be there to watch her grow up! It encourages me to think that I didn't grow up near my Aunts but I still love them very much; so there's hope that she'll know and love me even if I'm not always around. :)
In other news... well, there's not much other news right now. I'm so busy I feel like I don't have time to breathe sometimes; but we only have 6 weeks left of school. Wow.
Prayer Requests:
I've been gettting headaches a lot lately, please pray for my healing- to be completely free from headaches.
Pray for the Lord to reveal to me what I should be doing for the summer. I desire to do what He wants me to do and not just what I think I should do or what I would want to do.
Thank you!! Many blessings to you friends. =)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Adventure in God's Goodness
God is so good. I marvel at His goodness. I go through difficult times, but He always comes through for me. He proves His faithfulness and trustworthiness every day. He is always there for me and loves me and enjoys me. Oh, how good and awesome and amazing He is! In my last post I told you some miraculous provisional testimonies, in how He came through me.
Well, I have another one. Even after the last testimony I still had several bills to pay and $0. Our electricity bill was past due. So, at the beginning of last week I said, "In the name of Jesus I declare that You are going to provide all of us the money we need for that bill! Thank you." And that was it.
The next day, I was talking to a friend, I said, "I don't know what He's going to do, but I know He's got to do something" and she said the Lord told her to give me money. I won't say the amount, but it was enough to pay all the bills that week and a good amount left over! Praise the Lord!
Here's the other cool part. I had been asking the Lord for the money to be able to plant flowers and help our home look nice for spring and summer. I borrowed a few tools from our neighbors but there are certain things that I would need to buy to do it, you know? So, after my friend gave me that money, the Lord told me that He was pleased that I desired to take care of the home He provided and so He had told her to give me that much specifically for that purpose. As well as just to bless me. Wow. He is stunning.
So, thank His name, I was able to buy some seeds and a few other things I needed to make our house look pretty. I started to work on the yard on Monday and then a storm blew in (which I'm sure all of you are aware of seeing as how it's been moving across the whole country it seems) and it's been raining for 3 days straight now, so I haven't been able to do much yet.
That's not all, here's the other cool thing:
It's spring break (YAY! Finally some rest) and so last Saturday my roommate and I decided to have a fun day and go shopping- specifically antiquing. Here's the thing, I NEVER go shopping! Not only because I don't have the time, but because I don't usually have the money to go and I hate "window" shopping. So, my roommate and I had a blast finding a whole bunch of antique stores around town and we found shopping centers we never knew about because we don't go shopping. I don't know if you know this, but I love exploring, so this was pretty fun searching out new places. We even passed a home in a nice area that basically looked like a castle! I didn't get a photo, but needless to say, we drove by it twice. lol.
Before we left I prayed over our day asking for blessings and joy. And boy did the Lord bless us! We went to a sit down restaurant (can't remember the last time I've been to one of those) and the waiter gave me a soda to-go for free. Then we visited one antique store where we met a very quirky, unique, Christian old lady who talked our heads off (she was adorable) and before I left she gave me a pin I was admiring. This is just another example of the Lord loving His children so much that He loves to bless us with little things; and He adores our little prayers that may not seem like much to us.
Now, I was looking for something specific. If you recall the photos of my home I put up, we have an nice front porch, but nothing on it. So, I asked the Lord for a wooden bench for our front porch. I had a picture in mind and decided I didn't want to spend more than $10. Can you even find a bench for only $10? The antique stores we went to had nice benches, but all of them were over a $100. So, we ended our trip with me not finding a bench, but a fun adventure filled day with other little blessings instead.
When I first prayed and asked the Lord for a bench and thought, "I don't want to spend more than $10," a house came to mind. There's a house a few blocks away from us that often has furniture out on the side of the road or a garage sale going on. The very next day, after my shopping trip, I went to a park with a friend and we drove by that house and saw they were having a garage sale with lots of furniture.We didn't stop, but later I asked my sister to take me over there to see what they had. And what do you know? They had a wooden bench for sale (one that swings even) for $10. Really? Yes! Really!
There were a couple things wrong with it (like some cracks and bolts missing) and it was obviously old, but still held my weight; and the guy said he'd fix it and deliver it and I didn't have to pay anything extra. Wow. What favor! What a blessing! Okay, I know that the Lord was in that. Yes, the Lord answers little prayers like, "May I please have a bench for the front porch?" Like I said, He told me that He loved that I desired to take care of the home He provided! He is wonderful.
Here's a photo of my bench:
We are going to paint it white this week sometime. I'm so excited. It's perfect; and I think it's age gives it character. =)
So, that's one more adventure in God's goodness. He seriously amazes me.
Here are some more photos of the past week:
Me and one of my closest friends here. We went to a park together and took a few pictures.
We built a tiny stick fort... because we're goofy and were playing with sticks. Yes... Yes... we are 27 years old. But Jesus did say to be child like. ;-)
Here she is with our fort.
And here I am being silly. Praise God I didn't fall into the water. It was slippery.
This is my worship team hang out. We took one serious photo and several goofy photos. These guys are fun.
The one serious photo. Well, sort of... I'm not being that serious.
Yes... that is my leg. I need a tan. haha.
Several trees here bloom flowers before the leaves come in. I think these are cherry blossoms? Anyway, they're beautiful. I love this time of year.
Don't know what kind of tree this is... crab apple? or dogwood? Anyway, it's pretty.
Many blessings to you my friends. I pray that hearing my testimonies cause you to trust the Lord even more and go to Him even with the tiniest things. He loves it when we go to Him for everything and trust Him with the tiniest requests. It's always a reminder to me that He is a LOVING FATHER; and loving fathers give good gifts to their children. =)
Oh, I also, wanted to mention that my school payment is due; so, knowing that He always comes through, please join with me in continual prayer for continual provision. Thank you!
Well, I have another one. Even after the last testimony I still had several bills to pay and $0. Our electricity bill was past due. So, at the beginning of last week I said, "In the name of Jesus I declare that You are going to provide all of us the money we need for that bill! Thank you." And that was it.
The next day, I was talking to a friend, I said, "I don't know what He's going to do, but I know He's got to do something" and she said the Lord told her to give me money. I won't say the amount, but it was enough to pay all the bills that week and a good amount left over! Praise the Lord!
Here's the other cool part. I had been asking the Lord for the money to be able to plant flowers and help our home look nice for spring and summer. I borrowed a few tools from our neighbors but there are certain things that I would need to buy to do it, you know? So, after my friend gave me that money, the Lord told me that He was pleased that I desired to take care of the home He provided and so He had told her to give me that much specifically for that purpose. As well as just to bless me. Wow. He is stunning.
So, thank His name, I was able to buy some seeds and a few other things I needed to make our house look pretty. I started to work on the yard on Monday and then a storm blew in (which I'm sure all of you are aware of seeing as how it's been moving across the whole country it seems) and it's been raining for 3 days straight now, so I haven't been able to do much yet.
That's not all, here's the other cool thing:
It's spring break (YAY! Finally some rest) and so last Saturday my roommate and I decided to have a fun day and go shopping- specifically antiquing. Here's the thing, I NEVER go shopping! Not only because I don't have the time, but because I don't usually have the money to go and I hate "window" shopping. So, my roommate and I had a blast finding a whole bunch of antique stores around town and we found shopping centers we never knew about because we don't go shopping. I don't know if you know this, but I love exploring, so this was pretty fun searching out new places. We even passed a home in a nice area that basically looked like a castle! I didn't get a photo, but needless to say, we drove by it twice. lol.
Before we left I prayed over our day asking for blessings and joy. And boy did the Lord bless us! We went to a sit down restaurant (can't remember the last time I've been to one of those) and the waiter gave me a soda to-go for free. Then we visited one antique store where we met a very quirky, unique, Christian old lady who talked our heads off (she was adorable) and before I left she gave me a pin I was admiring. This is just another example of the Lord loving His children so much that He loves to bless us with little things; and He adores our little prayers that may not seem like much to us.
Now, I was looking for something specific. If you recall the photos of my home I put up, we have an nice front porch, but nothing on it. So, I asked the Lord for a wooden bench for our front porch. I had a picture in mind and decided I didn't want to spend more than $10. Can you even find a bench for only $10? The antique stores we went to had nice benches, but all of them were over a $100. So, we ended our trip with me not finding a bench, but a fun adventure filled day with other little blessings instead.
When I first prayed and asked the Lord for a bench and thought, "I don't want to spend more than $10," a house came to mind. There's a house a few blocks away from us that often has furniture out on the side of the road or a garage sale going on. The very next day, after my shopping trip, I went to a park with a friend and we drove by that house and saw they were having a garage sale with lots of furniture.We didn't stop, but later I asked my sister to take me over there to see what they had. And what do you know? They had a wooden bench for sale (one that swings even) for $10. Really? Yes! Really!
There were a couple things wrong with it (like some cracks and bolts missing) and it was obviously old, but still held my weight; and the guy said he'd fix it and deliver it and I didn't have to pay anything extra. Wow. What favor! What a blessing! Okay, I know that the Lord was in that. Yes, the Lord answers little prayers like, "May I please have a bench for the front porch?" Like I said, He told me that He loved that I desired to take care of the home He provided! He is wonderful.
Here's a photo of my bench:
So, that's one more adventure in God's goodness. He seriously amazes me.
Here are some more photos of the past week:
Many blessings to you my friends. I pray that hearing my testimonies cause you to trust the Lord even more and go to Him even with the tiniest things. He loves it when we go to Him for everything and trust Him with the tiniest requests. It's always a reminder to me that He is a LOVING FATHER; and loving fathers give good gifts to their children. =)
Oh, I also, wanted to mention that my school payment is due; so, knowing that He always comes through, please join with me in continual prayer for continual provision. Thank you!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Busy... and Good
If you were to ask me to describe the past couple weeks to you in one word I would say "Busy!" Ok, that's all. Done with this post... Jk. =) If you were to ask me to add another word I would say, "Good." Usually I wouldn't put those two words together. I really don't like being too busy; I love rest and coziness. I've been so much busier than usual the past two weeks that I've been gone all day almost every day. BUT in the midst of this business, the Lord has been meeting me; that's why it's been good. He is so gracious.
Even though I've been busy, I've actually been able to do a couple fun things. One of them was a luncheon. The sophmore men put on a luncheon for the sophmore women. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've ever had a group of men do something like this for the women. They just wanted to serve us and show us love and respect in a completely brother in Christ way. It was awesome. All the girls dressed up really nice; most were in beautiful dresses.
The guys parked the girl's cars, escorted us into the room where the luncheon was held, then gave us to another guy who escorted us to our table, where we each had more than one waiter. They brought us our drink and food and refilled our drinks; they even had 2 desserts to choose from- and they made all the food themselves! It was way cool. Thoroughly enjoyable. Here are some photos from that memorable day:
At the end of the afternoon they had a leader couple come talk to us about some things. It was good.
I had been learning something about myself before we had this luncheon, but this luncheon really solidified it. When I got there, I asked my friends, "So, what are WE doing for the guys?"
An automatic response from several of them was, "Just receive. Sometimes the best gift is receiving from someone. They're not doing it to get something back."
And I realized... I have been nearly incapable of receiving... whenever I receive, I'll feel guilty even ashamed if I'm unable to give back! Uh, that's not good. And that brings me to the class I go to on Sundays; it's a type of inner healing class:
So, I had begun to realize that I had this weird inability to receive without feeling guilty and I go straight to the class from the luncheon, and guess what is one thing we talked about? Receiving. We were talking about it in the terms of receiving mercy and someone said, "You can only give what you receive", as in, you can't give mercy unless you've received God's mercy.
Oh my goodness! I'm a giver, but what have I been giving all this time? If I've been unable to truly receive without feeling guilty or ashamed, how have I given? What have I given? Really, have I had anything to give? And specifically, this affects my receiving from the Lord. If I continue to crucify myself on the cross for not being good enough, or having to receive and not being able to give back, how have I received His forgiveness and mercy and love? And if I haven't truly received those things from Him, how would I be able to give forgiveness, mercy and love? I can't. Not without first having received!
Thank You, Lord for revealing this to me!! The first step is acknowledging, right? Well, since I've realized and acknowledged it, the Lord has been working on it; working on why I feel this way and how to receive. I'm not fully healed, but I have noticed a little change in me. I desire to receive without feeling guilt or shame or the need to give back. I want to be able to give freely and receive freely!
So, another thing I got to do in the midst of business this week is ICE SKATING!! YES!! Some friends of mine took my ice skating a few days ago. It was awesome; I love ice skating and really hated the idea of coming into spring without ever getting to go. Downtown has an outdoor ice skating rink. This particular day we went was extra warm- into the 70s! Before we went I asked my friends, "How do they keep the ice icy in weather like this?"
We get there and find that some of the ice was melting, so there were parts where we would be skating through water (there was still ice under the water, obviously, but the ice was EXTRA wet.) I kinda liked it being a bit wet; I felt like it made it even smoother. I had a blast! Honestly, I think I could go ice skating by myself for hours; because I love the gliding feeling, my muscles being worked (& it not hurting my knees) and being able to pray while I glide around on ice. So much fun!
Here are some photos:
My February school payment was due in the middle of February, but I didn't have the money for it. A friend of mine gave half of it, praise the Lord, but I didn't have the other half. Thankfully, the financial office is gracious, but that can only go for so long, you know? I went in to talk with them on Monday and found out that if I didn't pay by Friday (yesterday) then I would be withdrawn; and still owe money. Then I also found out that the check for my downpayment for school ($1325) that my friend paid apparently bounced (I don't know why) and so they didn't have that money yet, and at that time hadn't been able to get ahold of him.
So, I was up a creek... but guess what, God is my paddle! Actually, God is my canoe and my paddle, and my everything. LOL. I love being in a loving, praying community, cause the financial aid manager (who I was talking with) prayed with me. He was so kind the whole time.
So, I leave that office and go to the restroom to blow my nose, wipe my eyes etc. and I ran into a friend. She, of course, asked me what was wrong, so I weepingly told her. (My rent was due that day and I didn't have all of it yet, either.) So, she asks me how much I need for rent, I told her, and she gets her wallet and pulls it out. Then she prays over me as well. After she prayed, she said, "Ok, so, while I was praying, the Lord told me to give you this," and she handed me $100. Praise the Lord! I immediately took it to the financial aid office- it was literally within 10 minutes of leaving.
They praised the Lord with me (I was halfway there for that payment) then the manager told me something he had forgotten to tell me before- that if my friend ended up being unable to cover the bounced check then I would have to come up with $1325 by Friday. My thought process (though I was feeling a bit stressed over it all) was continually, "Well, Lord, I can't do anything about this, but YOU can. And I'm 99.99% positive I'm supposed to be here, specifically in school, so You're going to have to do something. If you don't, then I guess You'll be showing me something else you want me to do besides school."
So, I go to my class and ask my teacher for prayer; he has everyone in class (around 18 people) gather around me and pray and speak words of encouragement; they even sang over me. A few hours after class, I got a call from the manager telling me someone had gone in and given $200 towards my account! Also, they talked with my friend who had paid the downpayment and he was going to cover it; but the way he was going to do it was by sending the money through payroll, which means taxes will be taken out and I'll have to cover about $650 towards it. Isn't the Lord good?!
Then... you know, how the beginning of the month always means lots of bills? Well, that's what's going on with me right now. Bill after Bill after Bill. I had one bill due on Thursday and $0; and this bill has a huge late fee attached to it. I asked a few people to pray for me and just kept saying, "Lord, I don't know what You're going to do, but I certainly can't do anything. So, thank You for whatever You are going to do." Before the end of the day, a support check had come in and my mother randomly decided to put money in my account (I hadn't told her that a bill was due that day.) How much was the bill? $68. How much money came in? $70. He consistently amazes me. I love being amazed by Him.
I still have several bills due, so please continue to keep me in your prayers. And please pray for grace to finish out the semester doing my utmost to bring Him glory.
I've been studying Job lately, and it's such an awesome book! I know so many people who think it's confusing and so they don't take the time to read it (I thought the same thing before) but I took the time to actually study it and ask the Lord about the things that confused me and I got some clarity. And I can't help but be awestruck at the descriptions of God. He is so amazing!!
"Behold, God is great, and we do not know Him; nor can the number of His years be discovered. For He draws up drops of water, which distill as rain from the mist, which the clouds drop down and pour abundantly on man. Indeed, can anyone understand the spreading of clouds, the thunder from His canopy? Look, He scatters His light upon it, and covers the depth of the sea. For by these He judges the peoples; He gives food in abundance. He covers His hands with lightning, and commands it to strike. His thunder declares it... At this also my heart trembles, and leaps from its place. Hear attentively the thunder of His voice, and the rumbling that comes from His mouth.... God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things which we cannot comprehend... He seals the hand of every man, that all men may know His work." Job 36:26-37:7
God bless you friends.
Even though I've been busy, I've actually been able to do a couple fun things. One of them was a luncheon. The sophmore men put on a luncheon for the sophmore women. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've ever had a group of men do something like this for the women. They just wanted to serve us and show us love and respect in a completely brother in Christ way. It was awesome. All the girls dressed up really nice; most were in beautiful dresses.
The guys parked the girl's cars, escorted us into the room where the luncheon was held, then gave us to another guy who escorted us to our table, where we each had more than one waiter. They brought us our drink and food and refilled our drinks; they even had 2 desserts to choose from- and they made all the food themselves! It was way cool. Thoroughly enjoyable. Here are some photos from that memorable day:
Me and my 'date'... or ride. She's a new friend and on my worship team. Really fun to hang out with. :D
All the girls at my table.
Me and some of my friends.
A picture of the guys escorting some of the girls
Me and a couple friends.
There were goldfish in the centerpieces!!
My meal. It was sooo good!
Me and some of the guys. Right before this I said to my friend that what they should do is have ALL the guys surround each girl and take a photo. I was semi joking, but really did want to do it. But only my friend had the guts to make it happen! She said, "Lets do it!" And got up. So we went over to a group of guys (this isn't all of them unfortunately) and we got a picture with each. You wouldn't believe what we started! All of the sudden there was a line of girls wanting to take photos with the guys. It was hilarious and fun. =)
Picture of the room; this is actually a room where we usually have class, but they took most of the chairs away and put the tables in. Imagine lines of chairs like a classroom and then you can kinda see my classroom. =)
Our "entertainment"
This guy did a really funny one-man skit. It all consisted of funny noises and it was really funny.
My desert! Yum yum
The 2nd desert I could've chosen. Both look so good.
I had been learning something about myself before we had this luncheon, but this luncheon really solidified it. When I got there, I asked my friends, "So, what are WE doing for the guys?"
An automatic response from several of them was, "Just receive. Sometimes the best gift is receiving from someone. They're not doing it to get something back."
And I realized... I have been nearly incapable of receiving... whenever I receive, I'll feel guilty even ashamed if I'm unable to give back! Uh, that's not good. And that brings me to the class I go to on Sundays; it's a type of inner healing class:
So, I had begun to realize that I had this weird inability to receive without feeling guilty and I go straight to the class from the luncheon, and guess what is one thing we talked about? Receiving. We were talking about it in the terms of receiving mercy and someone said, "You can only give what you receive", as in, you can't give mercy unless you've received God's mercy.
Oh my goodness! I'm a giver, but what have I been giving all this time? If I've been unable to truly receive without feeling guilty or ashamed, how have I given? What have I given? Really, have I had anything to give? And specifically, this affects my receiving from the Lord. If I continue to crucify myself on the cross for not being good enough, or having to receive and not being able to give back, how have I received His forgiveness and mercy and love? And if I haven't truly received those things from Him, how would I be able to give forgiveness, mercy and love? I can't. Not without first having received!
Thank You, Lord for revealing this to me!! The first step is acknowledging, right? Well, since I've realized and acknowledged it, the Lord has been working on it; working on why I feel this way and how to receive. I'm not fully healed, but I have noticed a little change in me. I desire to receive without feeling guilt or shame or the need to give back. I want to be able to give freely and receive freely!
So, another thing I got to do in the midst of business this week is ICE SKATING!! YES!! Some friends of mine took my ice skating a few days ago. It was awesome; I love ice skating and really hated the idea of coming into spring without ever getting to go. Downtown has an outdoor ice skating rink. This particular day we went was extra warm- into the 70s! Before we went I asked my friends, "How do they keep the ice icy in weather like this?"
We get there and find that some of the ice was melting, so there were parts where we would be skating through water (there was still ice under the water, obviously, but the ice was EXTRA wet.) I kinda liked it being a bit wet; I felt like it made it even smoother. I had a blast! Honestly, I think I could go ice skating by myself for hours; because I love the gliding feeling, my muscles being worked (& it not hurting my knees) and being able to pray while I glide around on ice. So much fun!
Here are some photos:
My friend, her daughter and me: in front of the mall
I pretty fountain outside the mall- I like fountains.
Helping my friend's 6 yr old learn to skate
My friend's husband (well, he's my friend too), clinging to the wall... lol...
Helping her daughter learn to skate
Me
See the pretty lights! It made skating even more fun to be surrounded by pretty lights
Being goofy...
A little blurry, sorry
Smile and wave
I'm not waving, I'm almost falling and trying to regain my balance. Just a note: I didn't fall at all. Not even once. I almost fell a few times, but I never actually fell. Phew.
I think this picture is hilarious.
Brothers
He's doing it! He's gliding! Yay!
A picture from outside of the rink.
One more photo before we leave. I love the lights!
Okay, so, I know this is a long post, but keep reading, cause I have some awesome testimonies to tell:
My February school payment was due in the middle of February, but I didn't have the money for it. A friend of mine gave half of it, praise the Lord, but I didn't have the other half. Thankfully, the financial office is gracious, but that can only go for so long, you know? I went in to talk with them on Monday and found out that if I didn't pay by Friday (yesterday) then I would be withdrawn; and still owe money. Then I also found out that the check for my downpayment for school ($1325) that my friend paid apparently bounced (I don't know why) and so they didn't have that money yet, and at that time hadn't been able to get ahold of him.
So, I was up a creek... but guess what, God is my paddle! Actually, God is my canoe and my paddle, and my everything. LOL. I love being in a loving, praying community, cause the financial aid manager (who I was talking with) prayed with me. He was so kind the whole time.
So, I leave that office and go to the restroom to blow my nose, wipe my eyes etc. and I ran into a friend. She, of course, asked me what was wrong, so I weepingly told her. (My rent was due that day and I didn't have all of it yet, either.) So, she asks me how much I need for rent, I told her, and she gets her wallet and pulls it out. Then she prays over me as well. After she prayed, she said, "Ok, so, while I was praying, the Lord told me to give you this," and she handed me $100. Praise the Lord! I immediately took it to the financial aid office- it was literally within 10 minutes of leaving.
They praised the Lord with me (I was halfway there for that payment) then the manager told me something he had forgotten to tell me before- that if my friend ended up being unable to cover the bounced check then I would have to come up with $1325 by Friday. My thought process (though I was feeling a bit stressed over it all) was continually, "Well, Lord, I can't do anything about this, but YOU can. And I'm 99.99% positive I'm supposed to be here, specifically in school, so You're going to have to do something. If you don't, then I guess You'll be showing me something else you want me to do besides school."
So, I go to my class and ask my teacher for prayer; he has everyone in class (around 18 people) gather around me and pray and speak words of encouragement; they even sang over me. A few hours after class, I got a call from the manager telling me someone had gone in and given $200 towards my account! Also, they talked with my friend who had paid the downpayment and he was going to cover it; but the way he was going to do it was by sending the money through payroll, which means taxes will be taken out and I'll have to cover about $650 towards it. Isn't the Lord good?!
Then... you know, how the beginning of the month always means lots of bills? Well, that's what's going on with me right now. Bill after Bill after Bill. I had one bill due on Thursday and $0; and this bill has a huge late fee attached to it. I asked a few people to pray for me and just kept saying, "Lord, I don't know what You're going to do, but I certainly can't do anything. So, thank You for whatever You are going to do." Before the end of the day, a support check had come in and my mother randomly decided to put money in my account (I hadn't told her that a bill was due that day.) How much was the bill? $68. How much money came in? $70. He consistently amazes me. I love being amazed by Him.
I still have several bills due, so please continue to keep me in your prayers. And please pray for grace to finish out the semester doing my utmost to bring Him glory.
I've been studying Job lately, and it's such an awesome book! I know so many people who think it's confusing and so they don't take the time to read it (I thought the same thing before) but I took the time to actually study it and ask the Lord about the things that confused me and I got some clarity. And I can't help but be awestruck at the descriptions of God. He is so amazing!!
"Behold, God is great, and we do not know Him; nor can the number of His years be discovered. For He draws up drops of water, which distill as rain from the mist, which the clouds drop down and pour abundantly on man. Indeed, can anyone understand the spreading of clouds, the thunder from His canopy? Look, He scatters His light upon it, and covers the depth of the sea. For by these He judges the peoples; He gives food in abundance. He covers His hands with lightning, and commands it to strike. His thunder declares it... At this also my heart trembles, and leaps from its place. Hear attentively the thunder of His voice, and the rumbling that comes from His mouth.... God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things which we cannot comprehend... He seals the hand of every man, that all men may know His work." Job 36:26-37:7
God bless you friends.
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