I don't know how many of you read the Old Testament; I'm assuming and hoping that all of you do. I only say that because I remember a friend once telling me that he had never read the Old Testament because he never felt it pertinent to the Christian faith or something like that (I should also mention that he admitted that he was beginning to feel that he should be reading it.) I couldn't believe my ears. To even understand the New Testament we need to know the Old Testament, and there's so much meat to be found in the Old Testament. Not reading the Old Testament or only reading bits and pieces is what has brought around the false dotrine that the God of the OT and the God of the NT are different! What?! No, He is God, "For I am the Lord, I do not change." (Malachi 3:6)
Did you know that the OT talks more about Him being a loving, merciful God than the NT does? Did you know that the NT talks about His judgement quite often and it's not only in the OT? Did you know that there are more prophecies about His 2nd Coming than His first and they're mostly in the OT? (Considering my audience, you probably do.) So, you know, that it's SO important to know the OT! =) If you haven't been reading the Old Testament much, I encourage you to begin now. Do it as a study and not just read it. Go in-depth. At the bottom of this page you will find a link to E-Sword which is a really good downloadable Bible Study Tool.
Anyway, I bring up the Old Testament because the past couple weeks I've been reading through the prophetic books again... oh, so good. =)
And I just read Malachi and found something I don't remember noticing before. (Isn't it cool when that happens? You may have read something over and over and think you know all about it, but one day the Lord opens your eyes to something new about that book or verse!)
Malachi 3:16
"Then those who feared the Lord spoke to one another, and the Lord listened and heard them; so a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the Lord and who meditate on His name."
Background: this prophetic book is about how Israel had been giving polluted offerings, leading the people astray, marrying people from other nations and divorcing, serving other gods, and withholding their tithes. Their hearts had turned from the Lord, and Malachi prophecies about the Lord adopting Gentiles, about John the Baptist coming, Jesus' 1st and 2nd Coming and in Chapter 3 verse 16 the Lord is seeing the difference between a majority of the Israelites who had turned away from Him and those that sought His face.
These are a people who fear Him (they are in awe of Him as well as fear His judgements) and they meditate on His name! Oh, meditating on the name of the Lord... it's probably one of the reasons why they feared Him! If you ever want to gain a healthy fear of the Lord in your life, then just meditate/study His Name.
So, this is what I imagine going on when I read this passage. The Father is speaking to Malachi about all these things and seeing all the evil in His people that He detests- for they were saying "Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and He delights in them" (Mal 2:17) and basically promoting evil.... hmmm, sounds like a false grace doctrine, which is getting taught today as well.
Anyway, then He looks over and sees young Joe, and Sarah and many others who are daily seeking Him. They are repenting for the sins of the people; they pour out a fragrant perfume of love on Him, and study the scriptures, they make beautiful sacrifices of praise etc. And I see Him saying to the Son and Holy Spirit: We need to do something in remembrance for those who fear and love Me.
They agree and they decide to have a book of remembrance made. And all the angels that surround His throne and the elders are all in agreement and declare that it is good and holy. So, who writes the book? I don't know. But I imagine the LORD studying every single one of His followers who love Him, and saying, "See Joe there? How good is his heart. He really loves me." And dictates what is to be put in this book of remembrance.
I think this is so beautiful to think about. If you are a lover of God, you are in the book of remembrance! I personally don't think that this is the same as the Book of Life because then it would've been called the Book of Life. I imagine that the Lord has this read every day, that He thinks on us all the time and that new names are always being added. What a wonderful blessing to be in His book; to be on His mind! What more could one ask for? How lovely is His dwelling place! "One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life; to behold (gaze upon) the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple." Ps. 27:4
You know, the Lord loves to gaze upon us too! That's what the book of remembrance is about! Him gazing on us. His thoughts are toward us; His eyes never leave us in the good and the bad. He desires us to gaze upon Him and be with Him as well. He wants us with Him always; that's why He created us. Oh, what a beautiful God we serve!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
A Good Day...
So Friends today is a brand new day. I give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His mercy endures forever. (Ps. 107:1) Because of the Lord's great love I am not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22,23)
I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. The angel of the Lord encamps around me who fears Him, and delivers me. I am blessed for trusting in Him! (Ps. 34:4-8) I rejoice in the Lord for His goodness, and I sing to Him a new song, for my praise is beautiful to Him. (Ps. 33:1-3) Oh that all the earth would fear the Lord; that all the world would stand in awe of Him! (Ps. 33:8) How precious is His lovingkindness to me! (Ps. 36:7) In Him I put my hope, for He hears me and takes care of me. (Ps. 38:15) He has done many wonderful works and His thoughts toward me are too numerous to be recounted. (Ps. 40:5) I do not worry, for looking at the birds of the air I see that they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns and yet my heavenly Father feeds them, but I am more valuable to the Lord than the birds! (Matt. 6:26)
Let me tell you a story...
The past couple weeks or so (not sure how long) after paying some bills, I was down to $2.90. Thankfully, bills weren't due for a little while, so I was able to deal. Then, my school payment was due. Last semester, a friend from my internship partnered with me and paid for almost my entire schooling except a few hundred dollars (Praise the Lord for him) but he sent an email out recently telling me (and a few others he partnered with) that he would be unable to do as much this semester as he did last semester. I wasn't really sure if that meant he could only help with one payment or do a couple or what. I went ahead and emailed him and asked him if he'd be able to pay my school downpayment (which is half of the semester's tuition) and he said YES!!! How awesome. So, that was taken care of. =)
But this week, I started school and found out I had books to buy and a bill was coming up due, not to mention that my rent is due soon and all my other bills that are due at the beginning of each month. So, I started getting nervous, but "I lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth!" (Ps. 121:1,2) Every time I thought about it I would look up and say, "Lord, You are my Provider; And You will take care of me! Thank you for taking care of this." (This is beginning to become like 2nd nature! lol.)
A couple days ago, I had the sudden desire to spend my last $2.90 on buying someone coffee. I thought of the widow and her two mites from Mark 12:42, and giving to His people is giving to the Lord, even if it is just a small cup of coffee. The day I thought of it, I wasn't able to, but the next morning (this morning) the LORD reminded me about it. So, on my way to school I said, "Lord, if you want me to do that, please let me run into a friend (who needs a blessing) after my class."
I go to class, and kind of forget about it. During class, my teacher begins to talk about the book we need and I almost start to cry! (I've been going through a lot of emotional stuff lately, so it wasn't really just about finances, fyi.) My teacher said, "It's only about $12 if you find it on Amazon, so, cheap." Funny thing is, that's not cheap to me in this time of life!
After that class and before my next one I see the 'mama' of the music academy who's a teacher but really pastors a lot of the students. I go give her a hug, she asks me how I'm doing and I almost break down! Craziness. She asks me to walk with her and then without going into detail she gets a little run down of what's going on. I tell her that I have about $2 to my name and I have to buy books, a $40 bill is due NOW and my rent's due soon etc. She says, send me your book list and I will buy your books, then she proceeds me to write me a check as a part of her tithe! Oh my goodness, I felt so blessed! I am so thankful for her and others like her who follow the Lord. I knew He would take care of me!
And guess what? The story isn't finished. After my next class I walk outside and guess who I run into? A friend. A dear friend. I hug her and say, "Can I buy you coffee?"
She was quite excited about that and it made her feel blessed and loved. She said, "I think food is one of my love languages," which I thought was funny. lol.
I told her how much I would be able to spend and go ahead and tell her why; that I wanted to spend my last bit of money on a friend to bless them, and asked the Lord to let me run into one after classes.
This is what she said, "This morning I was praying over my finances too, and one of the things I asked the Lord for, because I've felt a bit down lately, was that someone would bless me with coffee"!!! Is that not cool? Totally set up by the Lord!
And we proceeded to spend almost an hour together and both felt quite blessed afterwards. Then later I come to the prayer room (where I am right now; ah... it feels so wonderful in here. I feel the Lord and Him lavishing me with His love) and I go to the coffee shop to get a cup of water which you have to pay about 25 cents for if you don't buy something else. My roommate wonderfully gave me some change to get it (cause, silly me, I forgot my water bottle) and I was in line with a friend. When I asked the cashier for my water I said, "I just want water, I don't have money for anything else so..." And my friend next to me looks at me and says, "What do you want? I'll get it for you!"
So, not only did the Lord bless me with someone buying my books and money towards bills (not to mention last week someone paying for my downpayment) but after I blessed a friend for coffee, I in turn was blessed with coffee (well, actually, I got a vanilla chai. Have you ever had that? It's wonderful!)
How wonderful the Lord is. Oh, how beautiful! He takes care of those He loves. Oh, how He loves us! He never ceases to amaze me. Never ceases to work a miracle. I am my beloved's and He is mine! (So. of So. 2:16) And I have ravished His heart! (So. of So. 4:9) Oh, how lovely, how beautiful is my beloved. I adore Him. I love loving Him. I love hearing His voice; His comforting voice. He is so amazing.
In the midst of me praying past my worry, I heard Him say, "I love that you come to me, instead of letting anxiety overcome you. You come to me in your fear and it is beautiful to Me, beloved."
I am so grateful to Him. Living this way is not easy; but it's wonderful to see Him use it, to do wonderful things in the midst of it; to let it grow my faith. I love trusting Him.
I encourage you, my brothers and sisters, put your full trust in Him. If you feel any anxiety begin to sneak upon you, seek Him. Every time you think of something that causes you to worry, go to Him. He will take care of you! "Cast all your anxiety on the Lord, for He cares for you." 1 Pet. 5:7
I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. The angel of the Lord encamps around me who fears Him, and delivers me. I am blessed for trusting in Him! (Ps. 34:4-8) I rejoice in the Lord for His goodness, and I sing to Him a new song, for my praise is beautiful to Him. (Ps. 33:1-3) Oh that all the earth would fear the Lord; that all the world would stand in awe of Him! (Ps. 33:8) How precious is His lovingkindness to me! (Ps. 36:7) In Him I put my hope, for He hears me and takes care of me. (Ps. 38:15) He has done many wonderful works and His thoughts toward me are too numerous to be recounted. (Ps. 40:5) I do not worry, for looking at the birds of the air I see that they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns and yet my heavenly Father feeds them, but I am more valuable to the Lord than the birds! (Matt. 6:26)
Let me tell you a story...
The past couple weeks or so (not sure how long) after paying some bills, I was down to $2.90. Thankfully, bills weren't due for a little while, so I was able to deal. Then, my school payment was due. Last semester, a friend from my internship partnered with me and paid for almost my entire schooling except a few hundred dollars (Praise the Lord for him) but he sent an email out recently telling me (and a few others he partnered with) that he would be unable to do as much this semester as he did last semester. I wasn't really sure if that meant he could only help with one payment or do a couple or what. I went ahead and emailed him and asked him if he'd be able to pay my school downpayment (which is half of the semester's tuition) and he said YES!!! How awesome. So, that was taken care of. =)
But this week, I started school and found out I had books to buy and a bill was coming up due, not to mention that my rent is due soon and all my other bills that are due at the beginning of each month. So, I started getting nervous, but "I lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth!" (Ps. 121:1,2) Every time I thought about it I would look up and say, "Lord, You are my Provider; And You will take care of me! Thank you for taking care of this." (This is beginning to become like 2nd nature! lol.)
A couple days ago, I had the sudden desire to spend my last $2.90 on buying someone coffee. I thought of the widow and her two mites from Mark 12:42, and giving to His people is giving to the Lord, even if it is just a small cup of coffee. The day I thought of it, I wasn't able to, but the next morning (this morning) the LORD reminded me about it. So, on my way to school I said, "Lord, if you want me to do that, please let me run into a friend (who needs a blessing) after my class."
I go to class, and kind of forget about it. During class, my teacher begins to talk about the book we need and I almost start to cry! (I've been going through a lot of emotional stuff lately, so it wasn't really just about finances, fyi.) My teacher said, "It's only about $12 if you find it on Amazon, so, cheap." Funny thing is, that's not cheap to me in this time of life!
After that class and before my next one I see the 'mama' of the music academy who's a teacher but really pastors a lot of the students. I go give her a hug, she asks me how I'm doing and I almost break down! Craziness. She asks me to walk with her and then without going into detail she gets a little run down of what's going on. I tell her that I have about $2 to my name and I have to buy books, a $40 bill is due NOW and my rent's due soon etc. She says, send me your book list and I will buy your books, then she proceeds me to write me a check as a part of her tithe! Oh my goodness, I felt so blessed! I am so thankful for her and others like her who follow the Lord. I knew He would take care of me!
And guess what? The story isn't finished. After my next class I walk outside and guess who I run into? A friend. A dear friend. I hug her and say, "Can I buy you coffee?"
She was quite excited about that and it made her feel blessed and loved. She said, "I think food is one of my love languages," which I thought was funny. lol.
I told her how much I would be able to spend and go ahead and tell her why; that I wanted to spend my last bit of money on a friend to bless them, and asked the Lord to let me run into one after classes.
This is what she said, "This morning I was praying over my finances too, and one of the things I asked the Lord for, because I've felt a bit down lately, was that someone would bless me with coffee"!!! Is that not cool? Totally set up by the Lord!
And we proceeded to spend almost an hour together and both felt quite blessed afterwards. Then later I come to the prayer room (where I am right now; ah... it feels so wonderful in here. I feel the Lord and Him lavishing me with His love) and I go to the coffee shop to get a cup of water which you have to pay about 25 cents for if you don't buy something else. My roommate wonderfully gave me some change to get it (cause, silly me, I forgot my water bottle) and I was in line with a friend. When I asked the cashier for my water I said, "I just want water, I don't have money for anything else so..." And my friend next to me looks at me and says, "What do you want? I'll get it for you!"
So, not only did the Lord bless me with someone buying my books and money towards bills (not to mention last week someone paying for my downpayment) but after I blessed a friend for coffee, I in turn was blessed with coffee (well, actually, I got a vanilla chai. Have you ever had that? It's wonderful!)
How wonderful the Lord is. Oh, how beautiful! He takes care of those He loves. Oh, how He loves us! He never ceases to amaze me. Never ceases to work a miracle. I am my beloved's and He is mine! (So. of So. 2:16) And I have ravished His heart! (So. of So. 4:9) Oh, how lovely, how beautiful is my beloved. I adore Him. I love loving Him. I love hearing His voice; His comforting voice. He is so amazing.
In the midst of me praying past my worry, I heard Him say, "I love that you come to me, instead of letting anxiety overcome you. You come to me in your fear and it is beautiful to Me, beloved."
I am so grateful to Him. Living this way is not easy; but it's wonderful to see Him use it, to do wonderful things in the midst of it; to let it grow my faith. I love trusting Him.
I encourage you, my brothers and sisters, put your full trust in Him. If you feel any anxiety begin to sneak upon you, seek Him. Every time you think of something that causes you to worry, go to Him. He will take care of you! "Cast all your anxiety on the Lord, for He cares for you." 1 Pet. 5:7
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Welcome to 2012!!
I know this post is a bit late and it's been a long time since I've been on here! I can't believe that it's already 2012 (the year the world is going to end... JK!) I haven't been able to update as much in the past couple months because I haven't been able to get online much aside from my little phone on which I'm not able to update my blog very easily. So, get ready for a long update I suppose. (Also, I made a new POLL at the bottom of the page, so take a look at it!)
The end of the fall semester came and went in a very busy manner. At the beginning of December, my sister and I were invited to help lead worship at a "ground breaking" for a house of prayer in Tulsa that a friend was starting. It wasn't actually a set thing that we were going to lead worship, but a possibility. As soon as he asked us, though, I KNEW without a doubt that I was supposed to go. So, setting aside the fear that would like to hold me back, we arrived there on a Friday night and stayed till Sunday. Friday night another friend of his was leading worship and we just had a late night worship time. The next day we got there at about 11:20 a.m. and at 11:30 our friend asked us to set up and begin leading at 12:00 p.m. Talk about my heart rate rising!!!
So, Carolyn and I went to another room to pray and discuss what we would play; got a few things together and got up there at noon. It's not a huge house of prayer, so it's not like we were in front of a huge group, but it was larger than I was used to. I started with the song, "How I love you Lord, How I love you Jesus, How I love you Lord, I'm in love with You." And after a bit of really getting my mind focused on singing and playing for Him, I unexpectedly was enjoying myself!! It was amazing, and only the Lord could've done that.
That was the beginning of me realizing that I can lead worship and I would actually enjoy doing it. We led for almost 3 hours; she and I would switch off who led a song. The way we did it wasn't just singing worship songs, it was more like the prayer room. People would come up and pray and we would sing over what they prayed and maybe come up with a chorus. It was great and I had fun. =)
That was also what the Lord used to help me sign up to audition for worship leader for the music academy teams. I didn't expect to make it, but at least to audition to help get over this fear of doing it! So, I did, and the last week of classes I auditioned. I didn't do awful, but not amazing. I also didn't get chosen- which is totally fine with me!
A couple days after school ended (17th) my sister and I drove down to Houston to see my family for Christmas. I'm so grateful for parents who want us home so much that they would pay for all our gas money to go there and come back. Otherwise, we would've been stuck here for Christmas. We were able to see my brother and sister-in-law (who is pregnant with my niece) and we spent a nice time at home. This will probably be the last time for a while that we got to all be together for Christmas; next year my brother will be with his in-laws and who knows where Carolyn and I will be!
Unfortunately, we were only able to stay home for a week, because we had to get back for the huge OneThing conference that IHOP-KC holds every year. Carolyn and I both volunteered; it was fun and the Lord moved. I would encourage any/all of you to look into going next year! You can find out about it at this link:
One Thing Conference
Since the conference, Carolyn and I have been spending as much time in the Prayer Room as possible and catching up with people we hadn't been able to spend time with during school. We made a schedule for ourselves where we would go to the prayer room in the morning for 4-6 hours, come home and go on an hour-ish long walk, and then get other things done in the evening. It's been a nice break to be able to make our own schedule; but this past week I used to really rest as much as possible because we are starting classes back up tomorrow.
We also were invited to go back to the Tulsa House of Prayer in the beginning of January to lead worship one Friday night again. It was really fun and it's the beginning of me realizing that worship leading is more a part of my calling than I first thought!
I have been thinking over this past year a lot. It's been one crazy year (in a good way.) In November of 2010, I did not think that I would be here at IHOP-KC in 2011 and on. I thought I would be heading to Vet school now. It's funny how the Lord changes our hearts and minds. If we give Him the reins, He truly will guide us where we should go, if we listen. I chose to listen. I chose what He had for me over what I thought would be best. Would there have been blessing for me if I had chosen to go to Vet school? I don't know. It doesn't matter though; I chose this. I want to live my entire life for Him. I've told Him that since I could remember, and I don't believe I would've been really living for HIM if I had gone to Vet school instead of coming here.
Is it easy, living for Him? NO IT'S NOT! It's hard; the world hates His followers; the world does not understand. The world thinks that fanatical lifestyles for Jesus are outdated and weird (well, call me a weirdo); and yet, Jesus was considered a fantatic; so was John the Baptist and Jesus said of him that, "among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Bapist" (Matt 11:11) All of the Apostles were fanatics, since Jesus and the Apostles are our examples for living the Christian life, then why wouldn't we give our lives over to a fanatical lifestyle of living for Him?
I am not saying that everyone is called to leave their work place to go into the ministry, but I do say that all His followers are called to have a ministry for Him. They are all called to live a life of prayer and fasting (He says, "WHEN you fast..." (Matt 6:16) not IF you fast.) They are all called to give to the body of Christ:
"And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation." Then those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them. And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in the prayers. Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God..." Acts 2:40-47.
I am not condemning anyone, I know that most of my friends who are reading this already live their life for the Lord; and I praise the Lord for you! I am so grateful to have so many friends who have chosen to live their lives for Him! I exhort all, though, (speaking to myself as well) to seek the Lord about anything lacking. Romans 12:11 says, "Never be lacking in zeal but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord." The word fervor or fervent comes from the greek word:
ζέωorzeō
and it means hot or boiling. We use it to describe a lover- 'a fervent lover.' We are supposed to be boiling with passion for Him, and zealous for righteousness. Our lives should reflect our love for Him- which causes us to love others, "The entire law is summed up in a single command, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Galatians 5:14.
We are supposed to forsake anything apart from Him-"Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Phil 3:8. And not follow the world, but only Him- "Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father, but of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17.
Wow, I didn't mean to go into a sermon or something! That just came pouring out. I guess it was on my heart. I exhort all my brothers and sisters in Christ to continue to fully give your life over to the Lord. To love Him with all your heart, mind and soul. To seek His face with all of your being. Fill your mind with thoughts of Him; let Him come and comfort you. Spend HOURS in prayer! Yes! How fanatical is that? Spending HOURS in prayer! That's what the apostles did! Fast yearly, monthly, weekly. Give, give and give some more! Read His word and fill your mind with it. "Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." Col. 3:2. "...whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things." Phil 4:8. The only way we can set our mind on these things is if we fill it with these things, which is truly the Word of God! Also, we need to know the truth to protect ourselves from believing lies.
I pray "that the God of out Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power." Eph. 1:17-19.
I love you all so much! I pray that you would read this as an exhortation and encouragement for your love of Christ to increase, nothing else. I want you to know that I deeply miss you my friends. I have been feeling it a lot lately, and I keep you in my prayers.
Please pray for me as I start the spring semester at Forerunner Music Academy. It hasn't been an easy road and I love it and hate it at the same time! LOL. The Lord has used it to do a lot in me though and I know He will continue to do so. I'll be honest, I never realized how prideful I was until I came here, and I've found that, like an onion, there are many layers to this pride. I also never knew that I was a walking wounded person. The Lord is working through these things with me and I'm so grateful for that. Praise His name.
More stories and thoughts to come.... Until then, signing off as... hmmm... maybe I should come up with a call sign? Any suggestions? =D
The end of the fall semester came and went in a very busy manner. At the beginning of December, my sister and I were invited to help lead worship at a "ground breaking" for a house of prayer in Tulsa that a friend was starting. It wasn't actually a set thing that we were going to lead worship, but a possibility. As soon as he asked us, though, I KNEW without a doubt that I was supposed to go. So, setting aside the fear that would like to hold me back, we arrived there on a Friday night and stayed till Sunday. Friday night another friend of his was leading worship and we just had a late night worship time. The next day we got there at about 11:20 a.m. and at 11:30 our friend asked us to set up and begin leading at 12:00 p.m. Talk about my heart rate rising!!!
So, Carolyn and I went to another room to pray and discuss what we would play; got a few things together and got up there at noon. It's not a huge house of prayer, so it's not like we were in front of a huge group, but it was larger than I was used to. I started with the song, "How I love you Lord, How I love you Jesus, How I love you Lord, I'm in love with You." And after a bit of really getting my mind focused on singing and playing for Him, I unexpectedly was enjoying myself!! It was amazing, and only the Lord could've done that.
That was the beginning of me realizing that I can lead worship and I would actually enjoy doing it. We led for almost 3 hours; she and I would switch off who led a song. The way we did it wasn't just singing worship songs, it was more like the prayer room. People would come up and pray and we would sing over what they prayed and maybe come up with a chorus. It was great and I had fun. =)
That was also what the Lord used to help me sign up to audition for worship leader for the music academy teams. I didn't expect to make it, but at least to audition to help get over this fear of doing it! So, I did, and the last week of classes I auditioned. I didn't do awful, but not amazing. I also didn't get chosen- which is totally fine with me!
A couple days after school ended (17th) my sister and I drove down to Houston to see my family for Christmas. I'm so grateful for parents who want us home so much that they would pay for all our gas money to go there and come back. Otherwise, we would've been stuck here for Christmas. We were able to see my brother and sister-in-law (who is pregnant with my niece) and we spent a nice time at home. This will probably be the last time for a while that we got to all be together for Christmas; next year my brother will be with his in-laws and who knows where Carolyn and I will be!
Unfortunately, we were only able to stay home for a week, because we had to get back for the huge OneThing conference that IHOP-KC holds every year. Carolyn and I both volunteered; it was fun and the Lord moved. I would encourage any/all of you to look into going next year! You can find out about it at this link:
One Thing Conference
Since the conference, Carolyn and I have been spending as much time in the Prayer Room as possible and catching up with people we hadn't been able to spend time with during school. We made a schedule for ourselves where we would go to the prayer room in the morning for 4-6 hours, come home and go on an hour-ish long walk, and then get other things done in the evening. It's been a nice break to be able to make our own schedule; but this past week I used to really rest as much as possible because we are starting classes back up tomorrow.
We also were invited to go back to the Tulsa House of Prayer in the beginning of January to lead worship one Friday night again. It was really fun and it's the beginning of me realizing that worship leading is more a part of my calling than I first thought!
I have been thinking over this past year a lot. It's been one crazy year (in a good way.) In November of 2010, I did not think that I would be here at IHOP-KC in 2011 and on. I thought I would be heading to Vet school now. It's funny how the Lord changes our hearts and minds. If we give Him the reins, He truly will guide us where we should go, if we listen. I chose to listen. I chose what He had for me over what I thought would be best. Would there have been blessing for me if I had chosen to go to Vet school? I don't know. It doesn't matter though; I chose this. I want to live my entire life for Him. I've told Him that since I could remember, and I don't believe I would've been really living for HIM if I had gone to Vet school instead of coming here.
Is it easy, living for Him? NO IT'S NOT! It's hard; the world hates His followers; the world does not understand. The world thinks that fanatical lifestyles for Jesus are outdated and weird (well, call me a weirdo); and yet, Jesus was considered a fantatic; so was John the Baptist and Jesus said of him that, "among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Bapist" (Matt 11:11) All of the Apostles were fanatics, since Jesus and the Apostles are our examples for living the Christian life, then why wouldn't we give our lives over to a fanatical lifestyle of living for Him?
I am not saying that everyone is called to leave their work place to go into the ministry, but I do say that all His followers are called to have a ministry for Him. They are all called to live a life of prayer and fasting (He says, "WHEN you fast..." (Matt 6:16) not IF you fast.) They are all called to give to the body of Christ:
"And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation." Then those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them. And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in the prayers. Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God..." Acts 2:40-47.
I am not condemning anyone, I know that most of my friends who are reading this already live their life for the Lord; and I praise the Lord for you! I am so grateful to have so many friends who have chosen to live their lives for Him! I exhort all, though, (speaking to myself as well) to seek the Lord about anything lacking. Romans 12:11 says, "Never be lacking in zeal but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord." The word fervor or fervent comes from the greek word:
ζέωorzeō
and it means hot or boiling. We use it to describe a lover- 'a fervent lover.' We are supposed to be boiling with passion for Him, and zealous for righteousness. Our lives should reflect our love for Him- which causes us to love others, "The entire law is summed up in a single command, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Galatians 5:14.
We are supposed to forsake anything apart from Him-"Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Phil 3:8. And not follow the world, but only Him- "Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father, but of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17.
Wow, I didn't mean to go into a sermon or something! That just came pouring out. I guess it was on my heart. I exhort all my brothers and sisters in Christ to continue to fully give your life over to the Lord. To love Him with all your heart, mind and soul. To seek His face with all of your being. Fill your mind with thoughts of Him; let Him come and comfort you. Spend HOURS in prayer! Yes! How fanatical is that? Spending HOURS in prayer! That's what the apostles did! Fast yearly, monthly, weekly. Give, give and give some more! Read His word and fill your mind with it. "Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." Col. 3:2. "...whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things." Phil 4:8. The only way we can set our mind on these things is if we fill it with these things, which is truly the Word of God! Also, we need to know the truth to protect ourselves from believing lies.
I pray "that the God of out Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power." Eph. 1:17-19.
I love you all so much! I pray that you would read this as an exhortation and encouragement for your love of Christ to increase, nothing else. I want you to know that I deeply miss you my friends. I have been feeling it a lot lately, and I keep you in my prayers.
Please pray for me as I start the spring semester at Forerunner Music Academy. It hasn't been an easy road and I love it and hate it at the same time! LOL. The Lord has used it to do a lot in me though and I know He will continue to do so. I'll be honest, I never realized how prideful I was until I came here, and I've found that, like an onion, there are many layers to this pride. I also never knew that I was a walking wounded person. The Lord is working through these things with me and I'm so grateful for that. Praise His name.
More stories and thoughts to come.... Until then, signing off as... hmmm... maybe I should come up with a call sign? Any suggestions? =D
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